Good morning Marco02
I am very sorry to hear, that you had to start your trip to Milano on such a note.
Regarding your request for the reminder email to be send to help you remember, when your travelcard expires: I would suggest you get in contact with our SBB Customer Support Center at 0848 446 688 (CHF 0.08/Min) or visit an SBB ticket office to check, why you did not get the reminder e-mail. Perhaps there might have been an issue with the email or else.
I cannot tell you, if a refund is still possible but you can also check this request through the Customer Support Center or on site.
I hope it all works out for you.
Best wishes,
Michèle P